If these company slogans were all for condoms…

Company slogans have become a part of our collective consciousness as it is… However, there are many ways to look at all things, right? Let’s pick the funny side. Below is a list of some company slogans – some you have heard, some not… Even for the ones you have already heard, however, here’s the twist: read each pretending that it is a slogan for a condoms brand… For some inspiration – here is a great French anti-AIDS campaign ad (if you somehow have missed it!)

(At the end, included are some of the real condom brands’ slogans)

Have fun! And pick your favorites!

That frosty mug sensation – A&W Root Beer

Because life’s complicated enough – Abbey National

Get the Abbey habit – Abbey National

Does you does, or does you don’t take Access? – Access Credit Card

Impossible is Nothing – Adidas

Don’t leave home without it – American Express

Think different – Apple Computers

Feel the Velvet – Black Velvet Whiskey

The taste of paradise – Bounty

WASSSUP?! – Budweiser

When you say Budweiser, you’ve said it all – Budweiser

Have it your way – Burger King

Nothing comes between me and my Calvins – Calvin Klein Jeans

I’d walk a mile for a Camel – Camel

You Can – Cannon

Welcome To The Human Network – Cisco Systems

The Citi Never Sleeps – Citibank

Always Coca-Cola – Coca-Cola

It’s the real thing – Coke

C’mon Colman’s, Light My Fire – Colman’s Mustard

Has it changed your life yet? – Compaq

Today’s delivery problems solved tomorrow – Courier Express

Thank Crunchie it’s Friday – Crunchie Chocolate Bar

Cutty Sark Whisky – Don’t give up the ship

Easy as Dell – Dell

Yours is Here – Dell

We keep your promises – DHL

Good for Life! – Dr. Pepper

What’s the worst that can happen? – Dr. Pepper

Challenge Everything – EA Games

It’s in the game – EA Sports

When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight – Fed-Ex

Imagination at Work – General Electric (GE)

The best a man can get – Gillette

Inspired Living – Haier

Don’t be vague. Ask for Haig – Haig Scotch Whisky

Expanding Possibilities – Hewlett Packard (HP)

Invent – Hewlett Packard (HP)

You meet the nicest people on a Honda – Honda Motorcycles

Intel Inside – Intel Corporation

Keep Walking – Johnnie Walker

It’s Finger Lickin’ Good – KFC

Life’s Good – LG

Where do you want to go today – Microsoft

Touching is good – Nintendo DS

Let’s Make Things Better – Philips

Fun anyone? – Playstation

It Gives You Wings – Red Bull

I am what I am – Reebok

It takes AGES to be as good as SEGA – SEGA

You can be sure of Shell – Shell Oil

You know when you’ve been Tango’d – Tango

Come for the food – Stay for the Fun – TGI Friday’s

It is. Are you? – The Independent

Hello Tosh, gotta Toshiba? – Toshiba

Moving at the speed of business – UPS

It’s everywhere you want to be – VISA

Play More – Xbox 360

Jump In – Xbox 360

Do you… Yahoo!? – Yahoo

Let your fingers do the walking – Yellow Pages

Reach out and touch someone. – AT&T
Please don’t squeeze the Charmin – Charmin
Neighbor’s envy, owner’s pride – Onida TV in India
Where’s the beef? – Wendy’s
Plop, plop; fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is. – Alka Seltzer
He keeps going and going and going. – Energizer Batteries
Everything is easier on a Mac – Apple Computer
Welcome to the World Wide Wow – AOL (play on World Wide Web)
Nothing Runs Like A Deere – Deere&Company
Live unböring – Ikea
Live in your world, play in ours. – Sony Playstation and Playstation 2 gaming consoles
Get N or get out. – Nintendo 64
See what the future has in store. – Future Shop
Easy as Dell – Dell Computer
Once you pop, you can’t stop – Pringles
How do you spell relief? – Rolaids
Is it live, or is it Memorex? – Memorex
High Performance, Delivered – Accenture
Agere Systems: “How Communication Happens”

Agilent: “Dreams Made Real”

Airbus: “Setting the Standards”

Amazon.com: “…and You’re Done”

AMX: “It’s Your World. Take Control”

Anritsu: “Discover What’s Possible

AT&T: “Your World. Delivered”

ATI Technologies: “Get In the Game”

BAE Systems: “Innovating for a Safer World”

Boeing: “Forever New Frontiers”

Cadence: “How Big Can You Dream?”

Canon: “Know How”

Cingular Wireless: “Raising the Bar”

Compaq (HP): “Inspiration Technology”

Cypress Semiconductor: “Driving the Communication Revolution”

Datel (C&D Tech): “Innovation and Excellence”

Dell Computer: “Get More out of Now”

DuPont: “The Miracles of Science”

Ericsson: “Taking You Forward”

Ford: “Built for the Road Ahead”

Fujitsu: “The Possibilities are Infinite”

General Dynamics: “Strength On Your Side”

General Electric: “Imagination at Work”

Hitachi: “Inspire the Next”

Hewlett-Packard: “Invent”

IBM: “We Make IT Happen”

IDT: “Powering What’s Next”

IFI: “The Power of Choice”

I.F. Engineering Corp: “Your challenge is our progress”

Indesit: “We work, you play”

Infineon: “Keep on Thinking”

Intel: “Intel Inside”

ITT: “Engineered for Life”

JRC: “You Don’t Need Wires to Communicate”

Keithley: “A Greater Measure of Confidence”

Linksys: “At Linksys – We are making connectivity easier”

Lockheed Martin: “We Never Forget Who We’re Working For”

MegaPhase: “Our Customers Connect With Us™”

Mitsubishi Semiconductor: “Changes for the Better”

Motorola: “Digital DNA”  “Hello. Moto”

NEC Corporation: “Empowered by Innovation”

Nokia: “Connecting People”

Nortel Networks: “Business Without Boundaries”

Panasonic: “Ideas for Life”

Philips: “Sense and Simplicity”

Pragma: “Operate at Your Optimum”

Progressive: “Now that’s Progressive”

Rohde & Schwarz: “Pushing Limits”

Samsung Electronics: “Imagine”

ST Microelectronics: “More Intelligence Solutions”

Unisys: “We Make It Happen”

United Technologies Corporation: “This Is Momentum”

Verizon Wireless: “Can You Hear Me Now? Good.”

vidaRF: “Simple Solutions for Complex Connections”

Vodafone: “How Are You?”

XMA Corporation: “When Performance Matters”

7-Eleven: “Oh Thank Heaven for 7-Eleven”

A.T. Kearney: ”Ideas That Last”

ACCBank: ”Its All About”

ACE Aviation Holdings: ”At Air Canada We Are Not Happy Until You Are Happy.”

AIMCO: “America Comes Home to AIMCO”

AMC Theatres: “Experience the Difference”

Abbott Laboratories: “A Promise for Life”

Accenture: ”High Performance. Delivered.”

Adelphia: “Get. Watch. Do What You Want.”

Albertsons: “Helping Make Your Life Easier”

Allegheny Technologies:  “Specialty Materials That Make Our World”

Allstate Corporation: “You’re in Good Hands”

Altec Lansing: “Just listen to this!”

Aluria Software: “Security Made Simple”

American Express: “Do More”

American Medical Response: “Patient Focused, Customer Centered, Caregiver Inspired”

Apache Corporation: “Sense of Urgency”

Apollo Group: “You Can Do This”

Archer Daniels Midland: “Resourcful By Nature”

Avon Products, Inc.: “The Company for Women”

BI-LO: “Why Pay More?”

BMW: “The Ultimate Driving Machine”

Bayer USA: “Science for a Better Life”

Best Buy: “Thousands of Possibilities. Get Yours.”

Bob Evans Restaurants: “Down on the Farm”

Booz Allen Hamilton: “Delivering Results That Endure”

Borland: “Excellence Endures”

Burger King: “Have It Your Way”

CVS/pharmacy: “Expect Something Extra”

Capital One: “What’s in your wallet?”

Circuit City: “Just what you needed”

Citigroup: “Live Richly”

CityJet: “Travel Without Frontiers”

Claris: “Simply, Powerful Software”

CompUSA: “We got it. We get it.”

Credit Suisse First Boston: “Empowering Change”

D-Link: “Building Networks for People”

John Deere: “Nothing Runs Like a Deere”

Dow Corning: “We Help You Invent the Future”

Dun & Bradstreet: “Decide with Confidence”

Emerson Electric Company: “Consider It Solved”

FedEx: “Relax, It’s FedEx”

General Mills: “The Company of Champions”

Global Jet Airlines: “Light is Faster, but We are Safer”

Globe Telecom: “Making great things possible”

Goldman Sachs: “Our Client’s Interests Always Come First”

Hilton Hotels: “Take Me To The Hilton”

Honda: “Power of Dreams”

InFocus: “The Big Picture”

Infosys: “Powered by Intellect Driven by Values”

J.C. Penney: “It’s all Inside”

JVC: “The Perfect Experience:

Johnson & Johnson: “The Family Company”

Kohl’s: “Expect Great Things”

Konica Minolta: “The Essentials of Imaging”

LevelVision LLC: “Engaging People”

L’Oreal: “Because I’m Worth It”

Martha Stewart Living: “Sharing The Good Things Everyday”

Matsushita Electric Industrial: “Panasonic Ideas for Life”

Mazda: “Zoom Zoom”

McDonald’s: “I’m Lovin’ It”

Metropolitan Life Insurance Company: “Have You Met Life Today?”

Mitsubishi: “Better Built, Better Backed”

Morgan Stanley: “One Client at a Time”

NVIDIA: “The way it’s meant to be played”

Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company: “Nationwide is on Your Side”

Nike: “Just Do It”

Nintendo: “Born to play”

Olympus Corporation: “Your Vision, Our Future”

One Hour Heating & Air Conditioning: “Always On Time… Or You Don’t Pay A Dime”

Optus1: “Yes”

Pentax: “For Your Precious Moments”

Peregrine Systems: “Evolve Wisely”

PerkinElmer: “Precisely”

Pier 1 Imports: “Life More Interesting”

Pioneer Rocketplane: “Permitting Travel to Space, Travel in Space, and Travel Through Space”

Porsche: “There Is No Substitute”

PricewaterhouseCoopers: “Excellence, Teamwork and Leadership”

Principal Financial Group: “We’ll Give You an Edge”

Procter & Gamble: “Touching Lives, Improving Life”

Rite Aid: “With Us, It’s Personal:

Rolls-Royce: “Trusted to Deliver Excellence”

Sherwin-Williams: “Cover the Earth”

Silicon Graphics: “The Source of Innovation and Discovery”

Spencer Gifts: “Life’s A Party! We’re Makin’ It Fun.”

Sprint Nextel Corporation: “Yes you can”

Staples: “That Was Easy”

Target Corporation: “Expect More. Pay Less.”

The Home Depot: “You Can Do It. We Can Help.”

Time Warner Cable: “The Power of You”

Toyota: “Oh What a Feeling”

United Parcel Service: “What Can Brown Do for You?”

United States Postal Service: “Fly Like An Eagle”

VeriSign: “Where It All Comes Together”

Verizon” Make Progress Every Day”

Vodafone: “Make the Most of Now”

Wachovia: “Uncommon Wisdom”

Wegmans Food Markets: “Every Day You Get Our Best!”

Weight Watchers: “Watch Yourself Change”

Wendy’s : “Do What Tastes Right”

Jaguar: “Born to perform”, “Unleash a Jaguar”, “Jaguar. The art of performance”

Audi: “Everyone dreams of an Audi”

Volkswagen: “Relieves gas pains”
Peugeot: “Peugeot. Live the pleasure”, “The drive of your life”, “The lion goes from strength to strength”

Jeep: “Jeep. There’s Only One”

Toyota “Today Tomorrow Toyota”, “Toyota. Moving Forward”, “Get the Feeling. Toyota”, “I love what you do for me – Toyota!”

Pontiac: “We are driving excitement”

Land Rover: “Land Rover. Go beyond”

Mercedes-Benz: “Unlike any other”, “Engineered to move the human spirit”

Honda: “The Power of Dreams”, “It must be love”, “Honda. First man, then machine”

FIAT: “Driven by passion. FIAT”

Alfa Romeo: “Alfa Romeo. Beauty is not enough”, “Power for your control”

Volvo: “Volvo. For life”

Subaru: “Driven By What’s Inside”, “When You Get It, You Get It”

Ford: “Ford. Feel the difference”, “Ford. Bold moves”, “Built for the road ahead”, “Ford. Designed for living. Engineered to last”

Infiniti: “Infiniti. Accelerating the Future”

Chevrolet: “Chevrolet. An American Revolution”, ”See the USA in your Chevrolet”, ” The Heartbeat of America”, “The road isn’t built that can make it breathe hard!”, “Eye it – try it – buy it!”

Hyundai Motors: “Always There for You”, “Prepare to want one”

Nissan: “Shift expectations”, “You can with a Nissan”
Chrysler: “Chrysler. Inspiration comes standard”

Kia Motors: “Kia. The Power to Surprise”
Lexus: “The Passionate Pursuit of Perfection”, “The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection”

Porsche: “Porsche, There is No Substitute”

Skoda Auto: “Skoda. Simply Clever”
Oldsmobile: “Start Something”, “This is not your father’s Oldsmobile”

Cadillac: “Cadillac. Break Through”, “Creating a Higher Standard”, “Standard of the World”, “The Penalty of Leadership”

Dodge: “Dodge. Grab Life by the Horns”, “Dodge. Different”

Buick: “Dream Up”, “Buick. It’s All Good.”
Mercury: “New Doors Opened”, “Imagine Yourself in a Mercury now”

SAAB: “Welcome to the State of Independence”, “Saab. Move your mind”, “Find Your Own Road”

Smart: “Smart. Open your mind”

Hummer: “Hummer. Like Nothing Else”

Holden: “Holden go”

Saturn: “Saturn. Like always. Like never before”

Citroen: “Just imagine what Citroen can do for you”

And what they really sound like:

KamaSutra: “KamaSutra. For the pleasure of sensual living”

LifeStyles: “Proven Protection That Feels Really Good!”, “Feel Good. Play Safe”

Trojan: “Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection you trust”

Jimmie Hatz: “The Official Condom Of The Hip Hop Kulture”

Durex: “For a hundred million reasons”, “Durex. Made to make you last longer”, “Better Shape, Better Sex”, “Once you try it you would never do without it”, “Good news for your sex life, bad news for beds”, “Durex. Crowdstopper”

Sagami: “Sagami. The improved polyurethane condom”

Jontex: “Jontex. The safest”

Jiffi Australian: “The thinking man’s condom”, “Real men do it in a Jiffi”

Harmony: “Try something new tonight!”, “Safe love”

Okamoto: “Okamoto. Super Fine!”

Manix: “The world’s thinnest condom”, “Less latex, more sex”

Joy: “The safest love”


About in shade

A cocktail of personality traits hard to digest for some but ultimately soothing for those who can. I observe, enjoy, travel, interact, photograph, dance, contemplate, write and love my way through this life's countless occurrences. This blog is a way to share with the world and its people some of the treasures they give me every day.
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