Irreplaceable

Is it just me who pays attention to the song lyrics?.. That “Grenade” one worked me up enough for this dissection not so long ago, and now I had a sudden epiphany about the good old “Irreplaceable”.

You can look up the lyrics by yourself (it’s basically about her kicking him out for cheating on her, while he’s portrayed telling her she can’t find a man like him), but specifically it is the refrain that keeps bugging me:

“You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he’ll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable”

Firs of all, metaphors and all aside, her timeline is kind of off. In the first stanza she says that “another you” will “be here in a minute” as a “matter [of] fact”. In the second stanza she goes on to extend the deadline for the “another you” to tomorrow… So unless the stanzas got accidentally reverse-ordered in the process of recording the song, this will so not pass any cross-examination! The other possibility, of course, is that she has two clones of the original “you” lined up: one coming in a minute (for certain), and another available upon request tomorrow.

What’s much more disturbing, however, is the fact that when it’s being said “another you” will be there in a minute, it means someone identical in some way/s to the original. Let’s rule out the clones just for probability’s sake; then we’re left with either a twin brother (but then again, what are the odds?), or with someone who has the most closely matching set of personality traits and/or looks…

Thus, my biggest question to Beyonce is this: gal, you’re kicking out a guy who, despite you buying him a car, was (allegedly) banging another chick… AND you actually WANT (and expect) ANOTHER HIM as a replacement???!!! So, like, let me try to wrap my head around this: instead of telling the douchebag he’d be replaced by a much better up-graded version of a male than himself, you’re actually saying you want another one just the same as the one you’re kicking out? Huh?.. So that the “other you” can go ahead get you to buy him a car, then proceed to bang another chick and get kicked out by you just like the first one, or what?.. Doesn’t it sound like some sort of a twisted psychologically s/m stuff to get into?

Okay maybe it’s the looks that you have in mind for the “other you”, but wouldn’t the new “you’s” visage remind you annoyingly of all the horrible lies and disrespect you had to go through with the one before?.. It’s one thing having a type, but it’s a fully other thing going for the cheater’s polaroid as the ‘better option’!!! So even that is a twisted pursuit!

And I’m not going to even investigate how the hell the “other you” so matter-of-fact-ly will show up promptly within 60 seconds at your doorstep without implying that you, in turn, were banging some either look-alike and/or personality-clone of your original douchebag boyfriend at the same time as he was giving other chicks rides in the new car you bought him for riding you around in. This would imply that you’re even more fucked up than if we just stuck to the original question of why you want a clone of any sorts in the first place.

Dear Beyonce, a piece of advice: next time you kick someone’s ass out for infidelity, don’t go around throwing threats that make you sound like you were doing your fair share of dirty behind the scenes at that same very time. If you weren’t, and your excommunicated one is indeed in the wrong, then my further suggestion is to stay away from replicas and get yourself someone different and original instead. If you were, however, then DAAAAYMN, girl – maybe you deserve a matryoshka set of equally unfaithful douchebag-type boyfriends in the first place!

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About in shade

A cocktail of personality traits hard to digest for some but ultimately soothing for those who can. I observe, enjoy, travel, interact, photograph, dance, contemplate, write and love my way through this life's countless occurrences. This blog is a way to share with the world and its people some of the treasures they give me every day.
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One Response to Irreplaceable

  1. Pingback: Would you like to dance?.. | Dancing through life

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